Pink Thing: Alcatel One Touch 810


I have a phone that doesn’t  connect with WiFi, stream HD TV, print guns in 3D, shoot lasers or allow me to time travel. However, it does something better: it works.

It has a battery which lasts a week. It doesn’t break into atoms and quarks when it falls. And when I spill tea on it, it doesn’t die, making its last call to my least favourite high school teacher at 1 AM (yes, that’s what my last, “smart” phone did. I hope it went straight to cell phone hell.)

And even more importantly, it looks so awesome. It’s goddamn pink! Also, it’s tiny enough not to stick awkwardly from my jeans (is that a phone in your pocket or are you happy to see me?) and to fit into my teeny-tiny vintage Chanel bag.  And it’s unlikely to be stolen, because thieves think it’s a mirror. Either that, or they’re too masculine  to touch magenta. Either way, it has already survived an entire year with me, and we still love each other. I wish my other relationships were that stable!

I have a phone that matches my nail polish. Beat that, bitches!

I have a phone that matches my nail polish. Beat that, Apple bitches!

Update: after waiting half an hour for someone who cancelled our meeting via a Facebook message, I got myself a smartphone as well. Now I live with two: the smart one and the good-looking one. And none of them is jealous. Why can’t it be so easy with people?


2 thoughts on “Pink Thing: Alcatel One Touch 810

  1. About two months ago I got myself a nice white samsung querty phone, still had wifi and such, but definitely a more modest phone then my previous android, which use to do fun things like freezing when receiving a call or writing a message. Guess what? It wasn’t smart enough for me, and just a couple of days ago I bought an enormous smartphone, with 8mp cam, and I could’t be happier. Doesn’t fit in any pocket, but allows me to read emails and message friends from other countries. Yours is adorable, but I totally understand the update.

  2. Pingback: Pink Thing: Wendy Davis’ Sneakers | Coverrated

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